User blog:FossilsDaDaDa/The 200 Story Challenge
1. Introduction 'Ello, my good friends. As you may have guessed from the title, I have finally decided to take the Story challenge. But not just any story challenge, no. I'm doubling the trouble. I'm doubling the fun. I'm doubling the stories! I am taking...pause for affect...the 200 Story Challenge! How is this possible? Well, you may remember a while back, I created my own set of topics? Well, I'm combining them with the original ones, leaving me with a total of 200. (See, I've done my homework :P) Some of these are just random tidbits with no story to go with them, others are future scenes in stories I'm writing. I will clarify before the story piece whether one of the other is the case. Also, some of them are full paragraphs, others maybe nothing more than a line of dialogue or two. Expect diversity. Enjoy! 2. Love "I do not love her, I just think about her often, feel bummed when she's not around, and often have visions of us running through a field in slow motion. But no, I do not love her. Love is for sissies." "Sure Buford. Whatever you say." 3. Light 4. Dark is a concept for a future story Phineas blinked his eyes open, but he might as well have kept them closed. Wherever he was, it was absolutely dark. He could't even see his hand in front of his face. He sat up, rubbing the back of his triangular head, trying to remember what had happened. There had been a green and blue blur, a flash of some kind of metal, then...pain. He felt around the floor, which was cold and smooth, and eventually he found a wall. It was just as smooth, no way out. So he threw caution to the winds, and called out. "Hello? Anyone there?" His voice echoed, then died. It was silent, then... The reason why the chamber had been so ominously creepy was because it was completely silent, save for his breathing and the pounding of his heart. Now that it was no longer so, having it be quiet would be a relief. Two voices were talking. One was male, older sounding, and...that was where it stopped sounding human. It hissed and crackled like a small fire, murmuring words he didn't understand and clicking, like a lobster claw, at seemingly random moments. But the second voice, in the darkness of the room, made Phineas want to curl up in a corner and bawl. It was female, much younger, and sounded almost artificially high pitched. It was distorted and warped in a truly disturbing way, like music when it's played backward. It somehow sounded like it was both far above Phineas' head, and right beside his ear. But something, some tiny, remote part of it sounded familiar...that voice belonged to someone he knew... Tingles of fear began to shoot up Phineas' spine, spreading down to his fingers, making sweat burn onto his face. He was shaking so badly he could barely stand. Then the voices stopped, just as quickly as they had started, and Phineas could breathe again. But it was only replaced by another sound: A quiet descending whirr, like an elevator shaft. Something told Phineas he was about to meet one of the voice's owners. in Perfidy 5. Seeking Solace 6. Break Away 7. Heaven 8. Innocence 9. Drive 10. Breathe Again [Ferb's POV. This is a future scene in Thicker Than Water, though this particular piece of writing is unique to here.] Panting, drenched, and colder than I'd been in my life, I crawled back onto the beach, gripping the pebbles with the one hand that was free. I was so exhausted, I wanted to collapse right there, catch my breath, and sleep, but I couldn't. That was the last thing on my mind. The instant I reached the shore, I turned around, dragging the lifeless figure I'd rescued with the last ounces of strength I had left. I rolled him over onto his back. "P-phineas?" Nothing. "Ph...ph-phineas?!" I was shivering so hard I could barely speak. "P-phineas are...are you o-okay?" What a stupid question. Of course he wasn't okay. If he had been, he would be breathing. "P-phineas!?" I started to shake him, panic tightening my throat "Phineas!" I grabbed him by the shoulders and lifted him up to his knees, his head rolling limpy on his neck. In my fatigued state, it was amazing I could lift his dead weight. "Phineas?!" I shook him so hard that if he was conscious, it would have hurt him. "P-phineas, can you hear me? Phineas?!" Still nothing. No response. Not a single sign came from him that he was still alive. "No..." Tears stung my eyes, threatening to fall at any second. I'd failed. Phineas, my brother, my best friend on the planet, was gone. Dead. But he couldn't be dead. I'd known Phineas almost my entire life, he was the most alive person I'd ever met. Seeing him dead was like seeing an entirely different person, somebody who was weak and pitiful, not the lively, happy little bloke that I'd grown up with.... "No!" I refused to believe it. Phineas couldn't be gone. "No, no no! PHINEAS, BREATHE! BREATHE'!" The last thing I wanted to do was to give him a mouth-to-mouth. So I did the next best thing I could to''' 'resuscitate him: I struck him, with as much force as I could muster, across the face. Nothing. "Phineas..." I sobbed "You're not gonna die, Phineas...I'm not gonna let you die..." 11. Memory 12. Insanity 13. Misfortune ''will make little sense if you do not know the rules of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_elephant_gift_exchange White Elephant Gift Exchange] is based on a true story "Okay, Buford, it's your turn!" Phineas said, struggling to hold in giggles. Buford stood, setting his partially-eaten dish Christmas cookies aside, and boldly approached that table of gifts, ignoring Baljeet's desperate plea for him to "steal" the gift he had unwrapped, a Tinker Bell tea party set. After very careful examination, Buford chose the small, grey-duct-tape-covered gift. Behind him, a certain party member, the one who had brought the gift, slammed a hand over her mouth to avoid letting out a laugh. It took him about five minutes to remove the impossibly sticky wrapping that incased the present, but eventually he succeeded. He opened the tiny box, expecting to find something to reward him for his efforts, and found... "...Well, Buford? What is it?" Buford, his face growing as pink as a flamingo, pulled the box's contents free and exposed them to the audience. It was a pair of earings. Cheap ones, but still earings nonetheless. A gargantuan wave of laughter overtook the audience. Isabella fell backwards in her chair, Phineas and Baljeet fell clean out of theirs, and Jessie was actually rolling on the floor, pounding it with her fists. "Ver-very...very manly ''gift you got there, Buford! Haha" Buford wasn't in any way amused. "WHO'S GIFT WAS THIS?!?! I'M GONNA PUBLICLY RIP HIS-" A hand went up. Buford immediately stopped raging and went from pink to red. "''I ''brought that present, Buford," said Jessie, trying to sound defensive, but failing due to repressed snickers. "Glad you...glad you ''like it! HA!" Jessie didn't care in the slightest that Buford had absolutely no use of the gift (That's really the whole point of this game, anyway), but somebody else did not. later Buford's mother stared at him. "...And can you tell me why, exactly, you want to get your ears pierced?" "Because if I don't, Ma, it would be an insult to the most beautiful person in the world." 14. Smile 15. Silence 16. Questioning 17. Blood 18. Rainbow 19. Gray 20. Fortitude 21. Vacation 22. Mother Nature 23. Cat 24. No Time 25. Trouble Lurking 26. Tears 27. Foreign 28. Sorrow 29. Happiness of this song [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2o8Ay5SYqBI&feature=related here] "It's pretty amazing, huh?" Ferb nodded his head, staring contentedly out of the spaceship's polycarbonate window, down at the massive blue-and-white marble that was Earth. "Kinda makes you wanna...spontaneously break into song, y'know? Ferb over at his brother, smiling lightly Phineas began, followed in turn by Ferb: "I love the mountains," "I love the clear blue sky," "I love big bridges," Jessie, seemingly from nowhere, joined in: "I love when Great Whites fly!" Random remark, but the boys just went along with it as all three of them harmonized for the chorus: "I love the the whole world, And all it's sights and sounds! Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada!" Isabella and Buford and caught on and, respectively, sang the next two lines: "I love the ocean," "I love real dirty things," Phineas couldn't help but giggle on his next line. "I love to go fast," Baljeet's turn: "I love Egyptian kings!" The chorus, now with six singers instead of just three, now sounded even funnier: "I love the whole world, And all it's craziness! Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada!" The boys each took a line: "I love tornadoes," "I love arachnids," Jessie: "I love hot magma," Buford: "I love the giant squids!" Chorus: "I love the whole world, It's such a brilliant place! Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada!" Phineas: "I love the penguins," Ferb: "I love the sun so bright," Jessie: "I love crustaceans," Isabella: "I love the stars at night!" Chorus: "I love the whole world, So many things to see! Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada!" Phineas: "I love to catch fish," Ferb: "I love the lemur eyes," Baljeet: "I love the future," Jessie: "I love when humans fly!" Chorus: "I love the whole world, No place I'd rather be! Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada!" Phineas: "I love to blast off," Buford: "I love adrenaline," Baljeet: "I love geometry," Jessie: "I love when air is thin!" Chorus: "I love the whole world, and being part of it! Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada!" Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada, Boom-de-yada!"... This was basically repeated, until one of them noticed that, though they were enjoying themselves, nobody was now flying the ship, and unless they stopped their sugary little melody, they were going to meet certain destruction on an asteroid. 30. Under the Rain 31. Flowers 32. Night 33. Expectations 34. Stars 35. Hold My Hand 36. Precious Treasure 37. Eyes 38. Abandoned scene in [[First Contact: Another Story]] The nightmare I had that night was the first sign that I was officially losing my grip on sanity. I don't know how it started, you normally don't in dreams, but the part that I remembered began in a place that looked like some sort of building. It was dark and icy cold, with a cavernous hallway in front of me. A warm, inviting kind of light shone from the end of it. I could just barely make out the sound of laughter, cheerful voices, and music emanating from it. And silhouetted against the light, facing away from me, was... Don't ask me how I knew. When you're dreaming, you can somehow always tell. "...Dad?" He turned around, and, all of the sudden, he wasn't just a silhouette anymore. He was tall, about twice my height, was wearing a normal set of human clothes, and his face...he didn't have a face. Just a foggy, blank space of skin. Somehow, though, I could tell he was surprised. "Dad!" I tried to run to him, but it was like trying to run through water no matter how hard I tried, my father only came inches closer to me. Then, to my despair, he turned and continued to walk toward the light. "Dad!" I cried again, reaching hopelessly toward him. "Dad, it's me! It's me!" Then, all of the sudden, my legs worked again, and I was only a few yards from him from him. Then I was frozen. "Daddy!" He turned again, and, for the first time, seemed to recognize me. I didn't know what my father's voice actually sounded like, but I didn't like the voice my brain made up. It wasn't exactly what you would call friendly. "Jessica? What are you doing here?" He scrutinized me up and down with his nonexistent eyes. Then, when he spoke again, it was with a completely casual tone, as if he was talking about an old pair of gloves he didn't need. "I thought I got rid of you..." I stopped dead in my tracks. "Wh-what?" "I replaced you, Sweetie." The more he spoke in that false-caring tone, the more scared and angry I got. Then, for the first time, I noticed that he was carrying something. It looked like a bundle of some kind, a baby... "Your brother was the perfect child. Since I got him, I certainly didn't need you." He turned the bundle in my direction and, in one, horrific moment, the baby transformed, sprang out of the blankets, and grew until it was now about my height. The boy it had turned into was exactly my height, and looked almost identical to me, except that he also had no face. His voice sounded exactly the same as my "father's": Cold, empty, and fallaciously kind. "You were worthless, Sis. I don't think there's a man alive who would want a kid like you in their kin." Even though he lacked a face, I could somehow tell my "dad" was wearing a malicious smile. "You really should've stayed back at that planet you came from. I honestly thought it would kill you, but since it didn't, I suppose it's wear you belong, then, don't you agree?" His son nodded. "Now go on back to Mum. I'm sure she'll take great care of you." I could hear them both laughing as they turned back to walk down the hall. I tried to follow, fury and anguish pounding in my head, but something was holding me back, sucking me away from the enticing light that they were heading towards. I tried to scream their names, but nothing came. Then I was lifted clean of the ground, the light growing smaller and smaller. Then I twisted around, and I could see what was pulling me away. My mother, a gargantuan replica of her about the size of a mountain, was leering over me, wearing a contorted smile that even her real-life self couldn't have rivaled...her jaws opened, revealing fangs the size of lances...Now I was in nothing, consumed by black, a roaring in my ears...I could finally scream again, but it was far, far too late for that... When I woke up, it was so dark it took a full minute to realize that it wasn't real. I was sweating, despite the cold air, shaking so hard I almost couldn't breathe, and my teeth had been ground down. And, it took a while to notice, but there were cold tears sticking to my face, mingling in with the sweat and the grime. Apparently, I cry in my sleep. 39. Dreams 40. Rated is a parody of the song [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYyO44U2BQ4 You're Only Second Rate from Aladdin: The Return of Jafar. It is sung by Doofenshmirtz-2 to Doofenshmirtz] I must admit, Your little schemes were amusing I bet you even Perry Thinks it's a laugh! But you had your chance To to try and impress me, Turns out you can not! C'mon, Doof, Let's see what you've got! You only bored me With your cruelest stuff And your old Inator Isn't up to snuff I'll tell it to you straight You're simply out of date You're only second rate! You think your such a meanie, But your plans are lame You've got a lot to learn About the evil game So for your information, I'll set the record straight You're only second rate! Men cower at my power! Like a twinkie My foes are number one On public lists But if you're not convinced That I'm superior, Hit me with your best! I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest! If you fail to zap me I won't be surprised Snap me in a trap, Platypus in size I'll make a quick escape In time for Doonkle cake You're only second rate! You know, your Rude-Inator Isn't mean enough Paper-Cut-Inator Didn't make the cut Let me elaborate On your pathetic state You're only second rate! "Doof the Evil Bureaucrat"! Tell me, can you beat that? Please do not make a fuss Cuz we know who's better of the two of us! So save your pleads for amends! I've got plans for you and all your little friends! And I can hardly wait Until I overtake Danville will be bowing Unil their shoulders ache You'll make a better living As a goozim's steak You're only second rate! 41. Teamwork 42. Standing Still 43. Dying 44. Two Roads 45. Illusion 46. Family 47. Creation 48. Childhood 49. Stripes 50. Breaking the Rules 51. Sport 52. Deep in Thought 53. Keeping a Secret 54. Tower 55. Waiting 56. Danger Ahead 57. Sacrifice 58. Kick in the Head 59. No Way Out is a concept for a future story "A Comasitic Reformation is the most in-ethical form of Brainwashing that we are capable of. They were illegal back in the day, but since most of the place is destroyed by now, I guess the laws aren't really in effect anymore. It's done through this little robotic bug they've made called a Comasite. What it does is, it injects your head with a poison that works basically the same as high-speed Alzheimer's. It eats away at your brain, destroying your cells one by one until you lose control of your vitals. And once you're reduced to nothing but a paralyzed shell, it takes over your body. It keeps your heart beating, your lungs breathing, and your systems functioning, but it also takes over your actions and thoughts. You're at complete and total control of whoever it is that's controlling the Comasite. But the part that makes it so bad? The part that makes it different from any other Brainwash that made it punishable by execution? It functions as both your mind control devise and your life support system. Once you're under the control, you're under the control until you either die carrying out the task you've been given, or until you succeed, and the controller doesn't need you anymore. And mark my words, getting rid of you is very, very easy." "...Creepy." "Yeah. So, bottom line, if you see anyone around here with a mechanical insect stuck in their head, stay out of their way." 60. Rejection 61. Fairy Tale 62. Magic 63. Do Not Disturb Ferb closed the blinds, shut the door, and flicked off the light. He glanced around, knowing he'd most like be killed in a very merciless fashion should he be caught, then clicked on the lamp and adjusted the full-body mirror he'd snuck from Candace's room. He glanced around once more, then, feeling extremely collusive, stood in front of the mirror and pulled of his best lady-killing smile. "Hello, Vanessa. Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back at me. Sadly, he is not me, but if you decide to dump him and date somebody else, he could be me. Look down, back up, where are you? You're on a spaceship with the man your man could be. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it's a platypus with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when a technical genius like me is your man, and not-" Creak Ferb stopped dead. His turned around, and saw none other than his brother, standing there, a hand gripping his mouth in an exhausting effort not to laugh. Ferb felt a strong urge to say something to him he had been taught not to say, but he was too embarrassed to say anything. Then Phineas raised his hand. In it was a device with a red light on it. A camera. "You wouldn't..." "Oh yes I would." "You better not... "I think that I will." "Phineas, if you do, I swear, I will- PHINEAS, GET BACK HERE!" 64. Multitasking 65. Horror 66. Traps 67. Playing the Melody [This is, theoretically, how part of the episode ''Excaliferb! would have gone if Jessie was canon''] place right after the song "A Questing We Will Go". As the song finishes, it's tune continues to be heard in the distance in whistling form. Casual strumming is heard. Phineas: Hey, do you hear that? Isabel: It sounds like...music! Burfarbalus: Huh, this place is supposed to be uninhabited to anything except goblins... parts the foliage and sees the source of the music, a mideval-counterpart of Jessie. She is is sitting cross-legged on a stump, strumming on a lute, whistling a tune. She glances up at his remark. Jessie: I beg your pardon? Buford: Blushing Uhh...nymphs, I meant nymphs. Jessie: Deadpan In your dreams, Cassanova. up at the others Hey, strangers. Come for a song, or are you just passing through? Phineas: Who are you? Jessie: The name's Jessilynn. I travel across the land, gathering news and weaving it into fine music so I can retell it to anyone I encounter. Phineas: So, you're a bard? Jessilynn: ...I prefer the term "Wandering minstrel", but yeah, that works too. Bufarbalus: Abruptly You're pretty. elbows him Isabel: Can you tell us anything new about Malifishmirtz? Jessilynn: No, but I can tell you that there has been an inexplixable lack of canned meat around these parts, and I bet my last tuned string he's behind it. a can out of her pocket Better make this stuff last. [Pulls the entire square of meat out like a brownie and begins to direct it to her mouth. Cut to the rest of the group, who all have an absolutely horrified look on their faces. A sharp music chord plays.] Jessilynn: Oh, I'm sorry, you want some? the meat slab Phineas: Umm... Baljeetilus: We'll pass, thank you very much. to Bufarbalus Be careful around this girl, she is clearly ''not from a realm of stable minds. Isabel: So, Miss Minstrel, care to join us on our quest? We could use any help we can get. Jessilynn: Thanks, but I'm not exactly up for any task that may result in loss of life or limb. So unless you're heading someplace that happens to be crawling with mountains of canned meat, I'll stick to my stump and my song. Phineas: Okay, we'll see you around. begin to leave Jessilynn: Fare thee well, O distinguished travelers. gets a "lightbulb!" look on her face, then pulls a pad of paper from her pocket labelled "Song ideas". Bufarbalus: a daze I ''so need to get that girl's homing pigeon adress... Baljeetilus: Keep walking, keep walking... back to Carl and MM Carl: So after are travelers left the unusual minstrel, they found themselves... MM: Wait, wait, wait, what?! She doesn't go with them? Carl: No, sir, it says so right here. MM: And she...doesn't have any effect on the plot what so ever? Carl: Um...it wouldn't seem so. MM: Does she even show up anytime later?! Carl: Ummm...ahead a little..from what I can tell...no sir. MM: Then why even include her?! Why introduce a character that clearly has a lot of potential, then leave her in the dust and never- Carl: Sir, I think you're taking this story a little too seriously. I think we should stop, since you've already got a fever. MM: No, no, you can continue. But get me that author's email, he clearly doesn't know how to write a story. 68. Hero 69. Annoyance 70. 67% 71. Obsession 72. Mischief Managed 73. I Can’t 74. Are You Challenging Me? is, theoretically, how part of the episode ''The Wizard of Odd ''would have gone if Jessie was canon Lion-Tiger-Bear Guy: Hey, look over there! Candace: Bustopolis! C'mon! run up to the city, but find their way barred by a wall with a massive door. Candace presses the doorbell, causing a sound that is somehow both entertaining and annoying. A small window opens up in the door, and a head pokes out, glowering down at them. Candace: Jessie? Jessie: a more squawky, irritated voice than normal Who rang that bell? Are you selling magazines? Cuz the answer is no! Everybody: Simultaniously We wanna see the wizard! Jessie: The wizard? Sorry guys, she don't let visitors in past 9 PM. Candace: annoyed It's two in the afternoon! Jessie: Oh, and I suppose you are in control of all the laws of the universe! I soppose you get to decide when the moon is full, too! And what day of the year is Thankgiving, and why Iceland isn't really made of ice! continues to ramble. Nerd Crow puts his hands over his ears with a pained expression Nerd Crow: Please make her stop... Candace: Jessie, just let us in! Jessie: The answer is still no. Now go away, we're closed. closes the window. Candace persistantly rings the bell again. Jessie reappears Jessie: Beat it, or I'll call the brute squad! Candace: What's a brute squad?! momentarilly ducks down, then reappears wearing a helmet Jessie: I'm the brute squad! Now scram, or you will taste my squadish wrath! [She slams the window again. Candace now pounds on the door. Jessie reappears, giving her a death glare, then closes it again. She then opens the entire door, revealing that she is much shorter than the Jessie we are normally familiar with, then charges at Candace Leeroy Jenkins-style] Jessie: AHHH-hhhh-HHH-hhhh! to their extreme height difference, Candace is able to effortlessly hold her back by sticking one hand out and keeping it held against her head. She continues to run in place. Jessie: Lemme at 'ir, lemme at 'ir! I'm gonna-URK! grabs her by the neck and pulls her up to her face. She immediately goes from being a small, hot-blooded "brute" to a tiny intimidated munchkin. Candace: quiet Are we going to have any more problems, Kid? Jessie: No, no, no more problems! Just, uh...just go in and take the stairs to your right. Gulps Can't miss 'em! and laughs nervously drops her, and they all begin to file in. Jessie: For the record, I'm not really the brute squad. I, uh, just say that to make visitors afraid of me. Heck, I don't even know what a brute squad even is. Nerd Crow: Lion-Tiger-Bear Guy Why are you looking at her like that? Lion-Tiger-Bear Guy: Because despite the fact that I am not only an impossible animal hybrid that should not be attracted to people what-so-ever, but also an impossible animal hybrid that wants nothing, I find her strangely fascinating. 75. Mirror 76. Broken Pieces 77. Test 78. Drink 79. Starvation 80. Words 81. Pen and Paper "What would you do if I hit your pressure point right here and now?" "Well, probably nothing at the moment, but....in the future, after you're married, and your husband want me to cosign a note, so you can buy a new house, I'll refuse." Ferb replied in a very matter-of-fact tone. "...You realize that's petty, don't you?" "Oh, completely." Jessie blinked, then stormed off in a huff, defeated. 82. Can You Hear Me? 83. Heal 84. Out Cold Baljeet carefully opened the door and creeped inside, closing it slowly behind him. He knew he should probably know better than to go sneaking around in Buford's closet where he kept all his private stuff, but the opportunity was too tempting. As long as he kept silent, no harm could come, could it? At least, not until it was too late on Buford's part. And if he could somehow find a way get back at him for spreading his best kept secret to everyone in the school, any amount of pain afterwards would be worth it. There were many a strange and un-Buford-ish object hiding in the room. There was a scrapbook filled with pictures of a goldfish, but that wouldn't be much help. A framed photo of that weird girl Baljeet was forced to be lab partners with, whatever her name was, that had a bunch of little hearts drawn on it, though that wasn't much help either, since pretty much everyone in the school except her knew about that. And then there was...could it be? Baljeet looked at it closer, squinting in the dim light, trying to make out the image on the shirt that he had never seen Buford wear outside his house. Yes, there was no mistaking it. It was a pony. And not just any pony, a sickeningly cute cartoon pony with feathery little wings, butter yellow fur, and a mane that was as pink as bubble gum. Beneath it was a caption that consisted of only one word: "Yay." Baljeet had no idea at all what this meant, but he did know one thing: If word got out that Buford had a secret obsession with adorable animated ponies, his entire reputation would be ruined, and he would have his vengeance a thousand times over. All he had to do was take the shirt to school, and- KA-BANG! Baljeet probably should've kept himself from giggling mechanically, because he had just been mercilessly smacked over the head by a baseball bat. He fell on his face, out for the rest of the day. Seconds later, the light turned on, and Buford began to prod his back, making absolute certain that his prey was completely unconscious. "He won't remember a thing." he said with satisfaction. 85. Spiral 86. Seeing Red 87. Food 88. Pain 89. Through the Fire 90. Triangle 91. Drowning 92. All That I Have 93. Give Up 94. Last Hope 95. Advertisement 96. In the Storm 97. Safety First 98. Puzzle 99. Solitude 100. Relaxation 101. Wake Up The first thing Ferb felt that day was a painful blow on the side of his head. "FERB, GUYS, WAKE UP, IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Ferb half opened one eye. It was still dark out, and Jessie was beating him over the head with a pillow. "C'MON, LAZYBONES, UP!" Ferb let out a little groan of protest, then rolled over. He was too drowsy at the moment to even process what the word "Christmas" meant. "Jessie...," said Phineas from across the room, sounding equally groggy "It's not even...four yet...how long have you been up?" "All night!" Ferb reopened his eyes. "I beg your...wha?" "I got to meet Santa! He told me all about what you did last year! Now, c'mon, get up! There's a dozen presents down there with my name on it, and I wait on nobody!" "Then don't," Ferb mumbled, closing his eyes and hugging his pillow to his face "Go bother Candace or something, I'm tired..." "Oooh, good idea!" She dashed out. They couldn't see her, but they knew she was wearing her jinglebell stocking cap. "Crazy kid..." Ferb turned over, about to go back into his sugarplum-filled dreamland, when he felt a tap on his shoulder. "C'mon, Bro." said Phineas "It's her first Christmas. I think we can afford to start it a little early." "...Fine, but I'm gonna need some eggnog." "I'm on it." 102. Heat 103. Cold 104. Disguise 105. Exhaustion 106. Flying 107. Forgiveness 108. Laugh 109. Favorite Possible future scene in TTW "Jessie, from the way you said all that, you'd think you were once given a writing assignment in school called "The One Thing I Like Least About Humans". "Well, uh, actually..." Jessie rubbed the back of her neck, looking a little sheepish "I was." "...Wait, what?!" "I was. Not to make you uncomfortable or anything, but at my old place, we studied humans like lab rats." A very awkward pause followed. "Uh...If it makes you feel any better, you were my favorite subject!" Phineas doubted he would ever be able to look at her the same way ever again. 110. What Have I Done? 111. Past 112. Future 113. Dragon 114. Out of Context "Alright, fine, yes, that is exacrtly what I want you to do. I want you to watch these beans as if they are lobsters in Big Bird costumes." 115. Beautiful 116. Stolen 117. Leap of Faith 118. Eternity 119. Gross Out scene in AITT, my Bitterness Trilogy story. Oh, sweet mother of all things good and candy coated... Right then and there, Ferb swore on his life that if he made it out of this fight alive, he would shower for an entire week just to get the image of what he was looking at out of his head. He silently commended every doctor on the planet who has had to do this and not lose their lunch. Dry heaving...I'm dry heaving... 120. Chaos "...So can you provide any explaination as to why Buford is currently trying to beat my brother into a puddle of twitching pulp?" "Oh, it is quite simple," said Baljeet, looking quite bored "You see, they were having a discussion about your sister,-" "Which sister?" "The one Buford is madly infatuated with." "...Sorry, that doesn't clear anything up." "It was Jessie! They were discussing Jessie!" "Ah, that would've been my first guess." Baljeet let out an annoyed "Mppf" "Anyway, they were discussing her, and Ferb foolishly decided to say that she was a, and I quote 'loogie-headed bogey-brain'." Phineas snickered. "Nice. That's a new one." "Yes, yes it is." "So, how come he's beating him up?" "Because he called her that, duh!" "...Wait, what?" "You heard me." "...She's our sister! We're allowed to say that kind of stuff about her!" "I know. I am not the one who needs to be told that." Right around then Ferb let out a shout that sonded something like "AHH, MY CLAVICLES!" "...I think I should really go and...help him." As he did so Baljeet let out an amused chuckle. "If only Jessie were here to see this..." 121. Born 122. Cosmos 123. Love Story 124. Poison 125. Dance 126. Hold Me 127. Caught Red Handed for another story sibligns are teenagers in this story Phineas looked back at the door and let out a little sigh. "Go on and talk to her, Ferb." Ferb glanced up from his homework but didn't say anything. "C'mon, I know you don't really feel friendly with her right now, but she needs some cheering up. Just chat with her for a bit, she'll lighten up." "But I already said, I-" "Tell you what: You talk to her, and I'll do the rest of those problems for ya." Ferb raised an eyebrow at his brother, as if questioning the dependibilty of the offer. After considering it, though, he decided it was too good to pass up. He put the sheet of paper back on the bed and got up, stretching the laziness out of his limbs. Then he left the room, heading down the hall to his sister's bedroom. He cracked open the door, peeking inside. It was dark, but he could see the silliouette of her sitting up on her bed against the window. Jessie? Look, I'm sorry I was... Ferb trailed off. Something was wrong. He didn't know what, nor how he knew, but something was. The voice in Jessie's head was...well, it wasn't there. She wasn't thinking about anything. And he knew his sister perfectly well enough to know that she's not the kind of person who would ever take a break from thinking. ...Are you okay? He opened the door a bit more. A shaft of light from the hallway broke into the room, revealing the scene that was inside. Jessie...what are you... -- After ten, complete seconds of working in total silence, Phineas almost had a heart attack. From the hall, a voice was shouting. A voice that he'd never heard shout before in his life. "MUM! DAD! HELP!" 128. Mountain 129. Ticket 130. Reunion 131. Pale 132. What Could Have Been 133. Rescue 134. Grow Up 135. Celebration 136. Half Way 137. Kiss 138. Courage 139. Promise 140. Royalty 141. Ocean 142. Proud of You scene in AITT SPOILER ALERT! Eventually, Phineas pulled his brother away from the questioning crowd, saying that he needed a little time to recover. He sat him in a chair, sitting in the one beside, and kept a wary eye on him. And he had good reason to. He hadn't seen Ferb in a worse state since the day he'd gotten himself killed. Ferb's skin was milk white, the pupils in his eyes reduced to tiny pinpricks, and the look on his face made Phineas worried that he was going to throw up, pass out, and cry all at the same time. He stared fixedly at the floor, not an inch of him moving except his lip, which was trembling uncontrollably. -- After what may have been an hour of near-silent waiting, Phineas finally decided it was safe to talk to him again. "So...you did it?" Without the slightest change in expression, Ferb nodded. "By yourself?" He nodded again. "And you didn't pass out?" His mouth now very tight, he nodded for a third time. In his mind, Phineas pulled his fist down in a "Success!" gesture. Now Isabella owed him an extra seven bucks. "And...they're both alive?" "They are if the doc says so." Ferb mumbled with a shrug, his voice weak. "Wow..." It was quiet for a while, then: "I'm proud of you, Bro." Ferb looked up into his face, but didn't really respond. "I couldn't have done that if the world depended on it. You're a hero, Man, you really are. She'd probably be dead if it weren't for you." 143. Heart 144. Scarlet 145. Cruelty Jessie is about seven in this bit. All dialogue has been translated from it's original alien tongue. Jessie opened her secret hidey hole in her closet, taking great care to make as little noise as possible. As soon as it was open a few inches, a furry snout poked its way out of the crack, sniffing her face curiously. A shrill "Reeet!" sounded, causing the hairs on her neck to stand up. She glanced behind her, terrified she'd been heard. "Shhh, quiet! I'm gonna let you out, but you're gonna have to be quiet, okay? Mommy will kill me if she finds you." Jessie wasn't exactly proud of herself for keeping a baby ganjow against her mother's very clear wishes, but what could she do? She'd found the poor little guy half dead on the windowsill, and she couldn't let it free now that it was an orphan. Besides, with all of the mean people she had to live with at both her home and at learn with at school, she didn't really have anything but him to confide him. That's why she named him Theetin, which means "Comfort". "Jessica!" Jessie jumped. That voice, she hated hearing that voice when it was angry... "Down here, now! It's time to leave!" Jessie groaned. How could she have forgotten? It was the thiry-ninth of the thirteenth month. Time for the family reunion. Well, it was called a family reunion, but it was more like an annual gather-around-to-pick-on-Jessie get-together. "I'm coming!" Before she left, though, she reached into her hidey hole, pulled the fuzzy little animal out as quickly as she could without hurting it, and tucked it inside her shirt. Maybe this year's reunion would be a little more bearable with him aboard. -- Jessie slumped against the tree, finally managing for a minute or two to break away from the crowd of lunatics that were called her relatives. How it was possible or so many relatives to be produced from one bloodline, she had no idea. But after one of her cousins had tried to use her as the rope for a game of Jeedikeeve, she had to have a break, or she would lose her brain through one of her ears. She glanced around, making sure nobody was looking, then, her back to the crowd, she pulled the slightly ruffled animal from her shirt. Ganjows could flatten them selves in tight spaces, so he hadn't been noticed. She placed him on the ground, and he began to paw at her nose, blinking at her with his four green eyes. "How's it going, Theet?" she stroked his back, taking care to avoid the spine that had just started to bud there last week. "Those people are crazy, aren't they? That one over there, the one who's eating that snack through his nose, that's one of my uncles. You probably wouldn't like him, he-" "Oy, Jessica, who are you talking to?" Her body went rigid. That voice was way to close, must've seen something... She spun around, hiding Theetin behind her back, hoping and praying he'd remain silent. The voice belonged to Komac, her older cousin who had once tried to put poison in her lunch. "I-I was...talking to n-nobody..." "Oh, so you have imaginary friends now? You were talking to something, you freak, tell me who." "N-no!" Jessie backed away as he advanced on her, sweat starting to form on her forehead "No, y-you can't!" "Show me, or I'm calling your dear old mum." Jessie sucked in a gasp, hot panic flooding her brain. She was trapped, there was nothing she could do... Producing her pet proved to be unnecessary, because she was shaking so hard that she dropped him. Komac's eyes fell to him, held there for a few seconds, then went back to her's, a cruel smile curling over his lips. "Oh, Aunt Imperium!" he called in a mockingly singsong voice. Run, Theetus, get out of here while you still can... Her mother's attention was caught immediately, as well as everyone else's in the group. By now, Theetus had crawled out from behind her, now in clear view of anybody who wanted to see him. Moments later, the whispers began. "Is that...a ganjow?" "A wild one?!" "She's got a baby ganjow..." "I...I..." she couldn't think of anything to say, but it barely mattered. Fear was swelling her throat, making it hard to speak, making it hard to breathe... Then she heard Mommy's voice. And that voice she feared more than anybody else there. "Jessica Grace, explain yourself." "I...I-I'm s-sorry, Mommy...He-he was hurt when I found him and...and..." Mommy reached down and pitilessly grabbed Theetus. He screeched out in pain. "Mommy, you're hurting him!" "Owning wild Ganjow's is against the law, Jessica, you knew that. You'll be punished for this, as soon as I get this thing taken care of." "Mommy, no!" She began to walk back through the jeering crowd, carrying the poor creature by the scruff of the neck. It continued to cry out, calling helplessly for aid from his owner. As she walked "Don't kill him!" Jessie fell to her knees, tears rolling down her face. "Please don't kill him!" 146. Holiday 147. Corrupted is part of an idea for a future story. "Wait," said the guard on Ferb's left, the on whose hand was clamped tightly to his arm "What about the boy?" "The boy?" She seemed to have forgotten he was in the room. "The girl's littermate." He was forced forward from behind "Should we bring him to?" Ferb tried his best to not look like a coward, but it was impossible. Not because he was actually more terrified then he'd been in his life, but because he was trying his hardest not to look into her face. She was scrutinizing him as if he was some sort of parasite. "No." she decided "The boy is nothing more than a corrupted by-product of a breach in the laws of nature. He is of no use to any of us. Guards, take him away. I don't care what you do to him, you can feed him to the norfits if you want." The guards seemed rather excited to hear this news. Apparently norfits, whatever those were, were very entertaining to watch eat. As Ferb was being dragged off, a tiny part of him, the part that wasn't numb with panic, couldn't help but feel hurt. Is that really all I am? A corrupted by-product of a breach in the laws of nature? 148. Firework 149. Persevere 150. Miracle immediately after Breathe Again But I knew it was pointless. There wasn't anything that could be done. Phineas was dead. I'd failed him...I'd let him die on me... Then I heard a raspy cough, followed by a groan "Uhh..." I pulled my hands away from my eyes, shocked. It couldn't be... Another cough, weaker this time. I looked back at Phineas' body. I thought my grieved senses were playing tricks on me, but I could've sworn it was him. Then another cough, followed by a small, watery gasp. Phineas was breathing, but water was blocking his airway. My brain had now gone completely numb, but my body automatically went back into rescue mode. I rolled him back on to his belly and pounded on his back. He coughed again, letting out more water. After another few seconds, he could inhale again. After two minutes straight of coughing, choking, and spitting out what looked like a gallon of water, he just lay flat on the ground, taking massive, ravenous breaths. It was then when feeling finally came back into my mind: I hadn't failed. Phineas hadn't drowned. He was alive. Alive. Lightheaded with relief, I put my hand on his shoulder. "Are you mental?" He opened his eyes. Slowly, he rose up onto his elbows, shaking from the effort, and looked at me. He seemed about as surpised to see me as I was. "F...F...," he coughed again "Ferb?" At the sound of his voice, the full, merciless impact of his miraculous survival hit me. And I couldn't hold it in. "Phineas." I pulled him clean off the ground and hugged him, as tight as my waterlogged arms would let me, clinging to his soggy back. I probably could've stifled the tears that were once again burning into my eyes, but I didn't even bother. "You git, Phineas," I sobbed, letting them roll inelligantly down my nose "You absolute git..." 151. Banished 152. Parody This a parody of the viral Youtube video Llamas with Hats "Carl! There is a dead agent in the cafeteria!" "Oh, hey...''How did ''he get here?!" "Caaaaarl, what did you do?" "Me?! I...I-I didn't do this..." "Explain what happened, Carl!" "I've never seen him before in my life!" "Carl, you trained him! Why did you kill Agent T, Carl?" "I do not kill agents, that is...that is my least favorite thing to do." "Tell me, Carl, exactly what you were doing before I came back from my coffee break." "Alright, well…I was upstairs…" "Okay…" "I was uh…I was sitting in my camera room…" "Yes?" "Reading a book…" "Go on…" "And, uh, well Agent T walked in…" "Okay… "So, I went up to him… "Yes…" "And I…I stabbed him 37 times in the chest." "....Caaaaaaaaaaaaarl, that kills turkeys!" "Oh! Well, I didn't know that!" "How could you not know that, Carl?!" "Yeah, I'm in the wrong here. I suck." "What happened to his wings?" "What's that?" "His wings? Why-why are they missing?" "Well, I kind of umm…cooked them up. And ate them." "....Caaaaaaaaaarl!! "Well, I-I was hungry. And well, you know, it's Thanksgiving… "Why on earth would you do that?! "I was hungry for turkey wings! Gimme a break!" "Caaaaaarl!" "My stomach was making the rumblies!" "Caarl!" "That only wings would satisfy!" "What is wrong with you, Carl?!" "Well, I kill agents and I eat turkey wings! That's-that's two things!" 153. Work of Art 154. Blind 155. Not Human 156. 42 157. History 158. Loyal 159. Scream 160. Try Again 161. Upside Down 162. Winter 163. Spring 164. Alone 165. On the Edge 166. Gold 167. Duck and Cover 168. Broken 169. Cleaning 170. Proof 171. Ghost 172. Brothers and Sisters 173. Empathy 174. Inspiration 175. Science Fiction 176. Lean on Me 177. Fish Out of Water 178. Jungle 179. Not Again 180. Lucky "Jessie, you may be a psychotic stubborn-headed pain in the rear end, but you're probably the most amazing psychotic stubborn-headed pain in the rear end I have ever met, and I'm the luckiest bully on the planet just to have the honor of knowing you." 181. Smart 182. Freedom 183. Worlds Collide 184. Tickle 185. Perfidy immediately after Dark There a very rapid Shlink!, like metal against metal, and...all he could do was gape in terror. Phineas wanted to scream, but all the air had been sucked out of his lungs at the sight. Two lights, two perfectly round, small, steady green lights, were looming in front of him, about the same level as his face. They were about an inch apart, perfectly aligned. Phineas immediately guessed they were eyes. They looked terrifying enough, but then they started to advance on him. Light footsteps could be heard. Phineas's heart was pounding in his ears. He walked back as fast as his numb limbs would let him, panicking, trying to get away from the person, the thing, that was trying to get him...the light from her eyes provided enough illumination, he could see two arms reaching for him...claws at least an three inches long, a face...he recognized that face... Oh, no, no...please no... He felt two ice cold hands grab him by the shoulders, the claws digging into his skin, and he was shoved into the wall. The light from the eyes was enough to make in unmistakeable. Yes, it was her. As impossible as it was, it was her. Phineas closed his eyes, bracing himself for whatever she was going to do... He felt hot breath on his face, then heard a long intake of breath. She was sniffing him. Then he heard that voice again. And now that he knew who it was coming from, it became, if possible, more scary. But this time, it was speaking English. "You are one of the humans. You must be terminated." "...J-Jessie?" "I no longer bear that alias. Do not speak, it will only make this more difficult." She began to drag him away, with strength far greater than he'd ever known her to have. He tried to struggle, but it was pointless. "J-jessie, w-what is wrong with you?!" She ignored him. There was another scrape of metal against metal that told him she was pulling him through another door. "Jessie, I'm your brother!" Phineas cried, his voice rising in desperation into a shout "I'M YOUR BROTHER!" "Impossible." she said calmly "You're an alien. There is no way we can share any blood. Do not speak again, or I will have to sedate you." "B-but...but..." "You're a liar, just like any other human. Speak one more time, and I will personally kill you myself." 186. Run 187. Pitch Black 188. Mystery 189. Toy 190. Island 191. Artificial Intelligence 192. Power 193. Too Late 194. Pirate 195. Nursery Rhyme 196. Race 197. On the House 198. Painful Truth scene in The What-if-O-Matic "Wait...wait a second..." Candace hadn't noticed, not until now, that, the entire time, somebody had been missing. Somebody besides the person she had wished out of existence... "Where's...Jessie? She should still be alive..." A sad, guilty look crossed Bobbi's face. "Ummm..." "...Bobbi, where is she?" "She's..." "Bobbi, tell me where Jessie is. Now." "Yer not gunna like it..." "I don't care if I like it or or not, just tell me where she is!" Unlike before, Bobbi now seemed genuinely sorry for her. "Please don't do this to yuhself..." "BOBBI!" she tried to grab her aggressively by the front of her shirt, but her hands just passed right through her holographic body "TELL ME WHERE MY SISTER IS! NOW!" Bobbi sighed, a sad, defeated sigh, then pointed. "She's right there." 199. Recycle 200. Bedtime Category:Blog posts